How the Tin Man really got his heart.
« Showing posts with label Lies. Show all posts »
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Monday, December 14, 2009
«Motivational Monday: Dear Children»
Santa Clause is like Jesus: parents lie to their children that both exist. In reality, Santa has a stronger case for existence. He can actually be seen in many malls, and the North Pole is a real place1.
1: There's no workshop at the North Pole, but just being a real place gives it more credibility than Heaven has.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
«PSA: ManBearPig»
[ ALERT! THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. ]
ManBearPig is half Man, half Bear, and half Pig1.
ManBearPig doesn't care who you are, or what you've done. ManBearPig simply wants to GET YOU!
I'm super serial.
But have no fear, Al Gore is here to save you2...
[ THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT, BROUGHT TO YOU BY: Master Marf. ]
1: Yes, ManBearPig has 3 halves.
2: In other words, we're doomed.
Friday, April 17, 2009
«NASA Fails Colbert»
What's the point of NASA even having a vote to name Node 3 for the ISS? They chose "Tranquility", despite the name being in 8th place. They didn't even chose the most voted-for official option of "Serenity".
The write-in "Colbert" took first place. As a consolation prize to all the now-disgruntled majority voters, they named the treadmill COLBERT (Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill). In my opinion, as long as the write-in wasn't vulgar they should have gone with it. Node 3 should have been named Colbert (despite my vote of Xenu).
If you don't want a write-in name to win, don't give the option of a write-in. If you don't want the most popular choice to win, don't have a vote on it. Simple. It just pisses people off when you have a vote on something, then disregard the result.
I mean, they chose the 8th place name. The vote was pointless. Way to go, NASA.
FAIL
Sunday, November 23, 2008
«No Free Dr. Pepper»
Dr. Pepper promised a free Dr. Pepper soda to everyone in the US if Guns N' Roses managed to release their album, Chinese Democracy, in the year 2008. Well, the album came out today. Dr. Pepper is offering a coupon for a free soda on their website today only.
So, there's a rush on the Dr. Pepper website. Like anyone would expect, all this extra traffic is essentially a DDoS attack on their servers and it went down. I can't help but think that not only did they not prepare for this, but they expected and wanted this. As long as their servers are down due to an overload of traffic, they have an excuse to not deliver on their promise.
Even if or when you do get it to load, the average person is not going to sit and try for two strait hours to finally get the page to load. And yes, they knew about this day a few weeks ahead of time. They had plenty of time to prepare.
EDIT: I managed to get the page to load enough to get a phone number. I tried submitting my information, but when I submitted it I just got a Page Load Error. So, here's their number: for questions and concerns, call 1-800-696-5891.
«My Religious Search»
The question was raised about my atheism and where my parents stand with it.
When did I become an atheist? To tell the truth, I don't remember. I think I stopped believing in God before Santa Clause (despite the fact that Santa had the exact same handwriting as my mom). I didn't give too many hints of my beliefs for quite a while. With Santa, I was afraid I wouldn't get as many gifts if I said I didn't believe. With God, I wasn't sure what the reaction would be and it seemed best just to keep it to myself.
You know, you tell a child all these lies about Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy... You may think it's just all in good fun. But when a child starts to realize the truth, they may start to question if God and Jesus were lies as well.
My parents come from different religious backgrounds. My mom was raised a Catholic, had it forced upon her and hated it. She's basically rebelled against it. Whether she actually believes in God or not, I'm not sure. We don't talk about it much.
My dad was raised Lutheran, and although he's drifted away from the literal interpretations of the Bible, he does believe in God in the Christian sense. He feels the Bible was written by man, and thus has been exaggerated and had human biases inserted. Really, who can blame him once you've looked over the Old Testament (or even much of the New Testament).
My parents are fine with what I believe. I'm old enough to have my own beliefs. My grandparents, on the other hand, are not happy with it. I've had a couple of talks about it with my grandfather. But, they love me just the same.
I was never forced to go to church as a child. When I got a little older I did a fair amount of research on a wide variety of religions; for a while it was almost an obsession. It didn't take long to dismiss the major religions. Although I admit I didn't put too much time into Buddhism or Muslim. I found the more “occult” religions fascinating, particularly Druidism. I spent some time talking to a friend online that is a Druid, as well as a classmate in real life that was a Druid. I even spoke to a true Witch in real life (Wicca). However, I just couldn't believe the prayers (read: spells) had any power. No matter what religion I looked into, they all had some beliefs that were downright silly.
You may think I should have given the major religions such as Christianity more time. However, I don't believe in a God. Everything else was based on that belief, and all evidence they provided was circular logic back to the belief in God.
So here I am. If one day God should make himself visible and prove himself to infact be God, I'll be inclined to modify my beliefs. And he'd better make it good, because extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. Until then, I am an atheist.
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