Monday, November 30, 2009

Sunday, November 29, 2009

«Only Americans Matter»

Plane Crash in China Kills 3 Americans

Does the wording of that bother anyone else? You see this same thing when children are involved, too. If there were any children on that plane, that's what they would have focused on. Bonus points if it's an American child. They even made sure to point out that one of the injured is also an American.

Who cares if they were American? The point is 3 people died, and 4 are injured right?

Sort if a tangentially related subject: when there's a suicide bombing, why don't they ever include the bomber himself in the death count?

See the rest of “Only Americans Matter”»

Saturday, November 28, 2009

«Caturday: Derp Book Stairway»

Rob Schneider derp de derp. Derp de derpity derpy derp. Until one day, the derpa derpa derpaderp. Derp de derp, da teedily dumb. From the creators of Der, and Tum Ta Tittaly Tum Ta Too, Rob Schneider is Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb. Rated PG-13.

U cud be in dis book... If only u waz useful...
i has stairway to hevan

See the rest of “Caturday: Derp Book Stairway”»

Friday, November 27, 2009

«MasterMarf on Twitter»

I have a Twitter account now. Woo! I don't know how much I'm going to use it. I don't know much about Twitter. I just wanted to grab the MasterMarf username. If it turns out that I use it a lot, I'll replace the "Marf's Shared Stuff" widget out on the homepage with my twitter feed. Or I may merge them, who knows.

I was setting up the new search subdomain for my website in the GoDaddy control panel, and I kept seeing Twitter icons everywhere telling me to see if my domain name is available on Twitter. That's what finally made me do it. I decided, why not? If I don't use it, it can just sit there. At least I have the username now.

Now, the new search domain I mentioned... When you do a site search with my little Google search bar in the top of the sidebar, the address of the results page is now at instead of A small change, no one would really notice but me. The reason I did it is because how I had it set up before, my .htaccess file blocked me from my own access logs. Anyway, I got that straitened out.

See the rest of “MasterMarf on Twitter”»

Thursday, November 26, 2009

«Then There Are Moments...»

Oh, man... The news article I linked to in my previous post today left out the best part.

President Obama Pardons White House Turkey

At time index 2:25 in the video:

You know there's certain days that remind me of why I ran for this office... Then there are moments like this where I pardon a turkey and send it to Disneyland.

- Barack Obama

See the rest of “Then There Are Moments...”»

«A Turkey Named Courage»

Obama's first pardon: A turkey named Courage

Thanks to the interventions of Malia and Sasha - because I was planning to eat this sucker - Courage will also be spared this terrible and delicious fate.

- Barack Obama

PETA took Obama's joke literally. They congratulated Obama's children and made them honorary members of PETA Kids.

What exactly is the point of the tradition of pardoning a turkey every year? From what I read, the turkey is doomed to a fate worse than death: to spend the rest of his life at the Disneyland theme park. I'm with PETA on this one, it should have been sent to a sanctuary... Or just became Thanksgiving dinner. I mean, come on... It's a turkey!

See the rest of “A Turkey Named Courage”»

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

«More Spam Comments Lately»

A blogger captcha.What's up with all the spam comments lately on blogger blogs? I know it's not just me that's been hit. Drek has also made this observation. I've also seen a few on other blogs I follow recently.

I've been deleting them as I get them. In the past 2 weeks I've had more than in the rest of the time I've been blogging. Before, I maybe got 1 spam comment every 3 months. Now it's nearly every day. It takes away that little glimmer of joy I feel whenever I see there's been a new comment.

I hate captchas (Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart). I'm under the impression that they do more to stop valid comments than they do spam. I mean, how many times have you seen a captcha that was impossible to figure out? There's spambots out there than can read those things better than your average human anyway...

I could enact a moderation policy where I have to approve a comment before it shows. However due to the delay that would cause, it limits the amount of back-and-forth discussion I'd get between people. When you make a comment, you'd see a message that says "Your comment has been saved and will be visible after blog owner approval."

For now I'll just try to weather through it, it's not bad enough yet to take such drastic measures. However if I am forced to, what would you rather see? Captchas or delayed moderation?

See the rest of “More Spam Comments Lately”»

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

«I Can't Believe It's Not Fabio!»

Up to generation 8 in my Sims 3 Legacy. Little Emily was born!

Stacy grew up and got married to Alex. Alex reminds me so much of Fabio Lanzoni.
Alex Zenge, the Sims 3 Fabio look-alike.

Click image to view full. "I can't believe it's not butter!"

They had a daughter they named Emily. She has blue smurf-skin like her mother. I plan on having a large 8th generation, so more children should follow once there's room in the household.

In a lot of ways, I'll be glad when I reach the 10th generation and this is over. The game is starting to get repetitive and a little boring. I'm probably just burning myself out. The only thing that's kept me going this long is the Grim Reaper's collecting escapades. Bugs and plutonium are not the only things he's collecting.

See the rest of “I Can't Believe It's Not Fabio!”»

Monday, November 23, 2009

«Motivational Monday: iTunes Nuke»

You've got to wounder why Apple's lawyers felt it necessary to include this in the license agreement...

I can't do what? / Damn, I was hoping to use iTunes to build a nuke.
I guess Apple software is a lot more powerful than I could have imagined.

See the rest of “Motivational Monday: iTunes Nuke”»

Sunday, November 22, 2009

«What's a "Topic"?»

This blog is like my life in a lot of ways. It has no real direction or purpose. It just IS; and that's its major flaw. It is always better to have a goal and specific direction, a niche to fall into and excel at. You'll pick up more followers and they will be more interested in your topic.

This blog has random topics. The only thing you can count on are Caturday, Motivational Monday, and that something random will be posted on the other days of the week. As such, it is highly unlikely that anyone will be interested in everything I say.

Lately I've been going on about the Sims 3. This is because that's what I've been doing lately. I know some of you are probably getting pretty sick of reading about characters in some computer game. You're about ready to unsubscribe and quit following the blog. That's fine. Others of you may only come here to read about the Sims 3 because that's your interest right now. You're a newcomer to the blog and see the other posts as "off-topic". Again, that's fine. I'm happy to have readers of any topic for as long as they care to read. When I get burned out on the Sims 3 I'll talk about other topics more often again.

There's nothing that's really "off topic" here. I created this blog to speak my mind about what I wanted to. I originally planned to talk more about my personal feelings. However, how many people would be interested in my non-directional life? I'm a private person anyway, and there are people I know in real life that read this blog. I'd inevitably end up saying something here that they'd question me about, opening a can of worms I'd rather leave closed. So the personal emo blog idea was out. I still wanted a presence on the web, so I decided to just talk about random topics and see where it lead me.

I figured by now I would have either just given up or would have found my own direction and purpose. Yet, it's funny how long one can linger in this state with no direction or purpose. For now I shall just try to continue as is. Better than giving up, right?

I'll leave you with this song. There's no actual video, just the album cover and the song.

The Crüxshadows- Nothing

No life, No love, No dreams, No reason to remain,
No eyes, No vision, No pain, No, No Nothing, No
mind, No thought, No sex, No awe to feel, No
heart, No Nothing, No, No, No Nothing

- Nothing by The Crüxshadows1

1 And no, the irony of this being a bit after the post I denounced poetry is not lost on me.

See the rest of “What's a "Topic"?”»

Saturday, November 21, 2009

«Caturday: Froze Quick Zombies»

It's like we came out of a rainstorm and abruptly fell into a cold winter on the 13th. It's been cold with snow on the ground ever since.

Mah pee froze and I wasn't dun yet quick
Let me inz da zombys rz cominz

See the rest of “Caturday: Froze Quick Zombies”»

Friday, November 20, 2009

«Expiration Chug»

Expiration Chug was the word of the day at Urban Dictionary yesterday.

when someone drinks milk very quickly on the day of the expiration date

- Urban Dictionary

It made me think of this comic strip:

Expires 08.22 09:40 / 9:39 No! I've only got 5 seconds... / Kyaaaaa....

See the rest of “Expiration Chug”»

Thursday, November 19, 2009

«Double 0 Degrees»

The temperature of a hypothetical object today is 0 degrees Celsius. Tomorrow the object will be twice that. What temperature will it be tomorrow? I'll give you a hint: it's not 64 degrees Fahrenheit.

Seeing as the Celsius scale is based on the arbitrary freezing point of water, and not the actual total amount of heat energy, we need to convert Celsius to to a scale that is based off the absolute heat energy: Kelvin. In the Kelvin scale, there is no such thing as below 0. 0 Kelvin is called absolute zero, where there is literally no heat energy.

0 degrees Celsius is 273.15 in the Kelvin scale. We can then double 273.15 and get 546.3 Kelvin. It can be converted back to Celsius as 273.15 degrees.

This isn't just a metric thing, either. It works out in the Rankine scale, which is also based on absolute heat energy. 32 degrees Fahrenheit (equal to 0°C) is 491.67 Rankine, double that and you get 983.34 Rankine. Convert it back to Fahrenheit and you get 523.67 degrees Fahrenheit. 523.67 degrees Fahrenheit is exactly equal to 273.15 degrees Celsius.

Makes you appreciate how much heat energy is really in the objects around us.

See the rest of “Double 0 Degrees”»

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

«Radiation Protest»

Once again, this is about my Sims 3 Legacy1.

The Grim Reaper just acquired another plutonium rock, and when he sent it in to get smelted and purified, he got 5 ingots back! That makes a total of 7 bars of plutonium, I'm aiming for 15 of each metal. Click an image to view full.

As you can see, I have 15 of every metal now, except plutonium.
Stacks of metals in the Sims 3
I think the public has taken notice. I found a group of sims in front of the city hall protesting radiation.
Protesting sims
No worries, the Leader of the Free World (aka the Sim President) is David, and he's secretly evil and in league with Grim. He'll make sure this little protest goes nowhere.

1: Why do I keep saying that this is about my Sims 3 legacy? Because there's always that one person that didn't read any of my other posts and they ask what game this is in.

See the rest of “Radiation Protest”»

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

«Refrigerator Haiku»

I never really did learn to appreciate poetry. It always seems to not make sense, or has to follow some archaic form. As much as they tried to jam poetry down my throat in school, I still don't really understand it.

Haikus are easy / but sometimes they don't make sense / Refrigerator.

See the rest of “Refrigerator Haiku”»

Monday, November 16, 2009

Sunday, November 15, 2009

«Cindy the Nympho»

Recent major events in my Sims 3 legacy. Nearly a lifetime has passed since I've talked about the family other than Grim.

Vernell became a Master Thief for the same organization that my Grim Reaper is the leader of. Grim was so proud of his granddaughter. Grim never really got along with his daughters, but Vernell and Grim were best friends since she was a baby. When Vernell was 88 days old (an elder), she managed to steal the priceless Golden Llama statue; long believed to be theft-proof. The statue now sits in Grim's chambers within the organization. She received an amazing $209 an hour raise for the feat. But alas, she died of old age the very next day.

Vernell and Buck had children obviously, named Cindy and Lori. Lori is the older sister and is the heir. She grew up and married a Smurf. No, I'm not joking...

In the Legacy rules, you're not allowed to marry any sim that you create, but their game-generated offspring are fair-game. I created a blue-skinned couple with the last name Smurf. They had a child named David Smurf, and it is David that Lori married. They then had twins, Nora and Stacy. Nora has regular color skin and Stacy has blue smurf-skin. Both Lori and Cindy did not inherit the jet-black skin color from Vernell. I wanted to keep things interesting, so I went for another odd color.

Cindy, being the younger sister and having both the Great Kisser and Commitment Issues traits, turn out to be quite promiscuous. She obtained the Heartbreaker lifetime wish: to have 10 different boyfriends. Let's just say she went through 10 guys pretty quickly... She's already achieved her lifetime wish!

Cindy Zenge

Click image to view full.

Remember, you can reference the family tree if you start getting the names mixed up.

See the rest of “Cindy the Nympho”»

Saturday, November 14, 2009

«Caturday: Tech Russian Suspicious»

Hey, that's the same exact model of computer case I use! The brand is Lian Li...

Don't worry, I'm from tech support
No more vodka for Russian Cat
Suspicious cat iz suspicious

See the rest of “Caturday: Tech Russian Suspicious”»

Friday, November 13, 2009

«3AM Ketchikan Snow»

Last night we got our first snow of the season. I just happened to be awake at 3AM1, so I went out and took some pictures.

This picture was taken at 3:11AM on November 13th, 2009. I used a 4 second exposure with flash so I'd catch some snowflakes in the picture as well.
Snow on November 13th, 2009 in Ketchikan, Alaska.

Click image to view full.

So now we've got snow on the ground for Friday the 13th...

1: Being awake at 3AM is not uncommon for me.

See the rest of “3AM Ketchikan Snow”»

«Resume Evil Domination»

Again, this is about my Sims 3 Legacy.

Grim has re-focused his time to his collecting, and it paid off big-time. In one very good night, he found a Trilobite Beetle, a Rainbow Beetle, and... Plutonium! The plutonium was the only metal he was missing, so now he's completed the Metal Collector challenge. He will now routinely get additional ingots returned in the mail. Too bad you can't do anything more than put them on display. Grim is the Emperor of Evil, I'm sure he could find some nefarious use for plutonium. Click an image to view full.

He just so happened to get an extra ingot of plutonium in the mail, they are the green bars1 on the table.
Two bars of plutonium sitting on a table
The two beetles completed his beetle collection, and he's already completed his butterfly collection. How that helps him dominate the world I have no idea.

The beetles...
Sims 3 beetle collection
...And the Butterflies, a collection to make even Looney envious.
Sims 3 butterfly collection
1: Yes, plutonium in real life is a silvery white color. But so are most metals. In the game they gave it a green color to make it stand out.

See the rest of “Resume Evil Domination”»

Thursday, November 12, 2009

«Never Question Authority...»

...It doesn't know either.

The length of one kilometer was greater than that of one mile.

April 20th, 1994
Dear Mrs. [blank],

You may already know this, but in case Alex has neglected to tell you, I am assigning him to detention for one hour this Friday, April 22nd. The reason is as follows:

Alex consistently defied me. During class he contradicted me numerous times when I insisted that the length of one kilometer was greater than that of one mile. Every other student in class accepted my lesson without argument, but your son refused to believe what I told him, offering such rebuttals as "You're lying to the class," and commanding other students to challenge my curriculum.

Although he was correct, Alex's actions show a blatant disregard for authority, and a complete lack of respect for his school. In the future, Alex would be better off simply accepting my teachings without resistance.

Please see to it that your son understands this.


If I were Mrs. [blank], I'd tell that teacher to shove the detention time up his ass. I'd also congratulate Alex for having the courage to stand up for himself when he's right. You can't just lay down and let stupidity reign supreme.

See the rest of “Never Question Authority...”»

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

«Plotting His Evil Domination»

I changed 2 of my Grim Reaper's traits. It just didn't make sense that he was the Emperor of Evil, yet didn't have the Evil trait. I know, changing traits is probably against the Legacy Challenge rules. Strictly speaking though, it is not specifically listed in the rules that you can't use the Mid-Life Crisis reward perk. Besides, they're more like guidelines than actual rules, right?

Now Grim can get to plotting his evil domination of the world.
Grim Reaper plotting an evil plan.

Click image to view full.

The other trait he picked up is the Bookworm trait. It's the family trait of my legacy. He's surrounded by bookworms, so I figured it would be best for him to fit in.

The two traits he dropped were Grumpy and Insane. So now he has the traits of Bookworm, Brave, Evil, Good Sense of Humor, and Inappropriate.

See the rest of “Plotting His Evil Domination”»

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

«The Mare's Nest»

It looks like I've been spotted by another blogger over at The Mare's Nest. It's a Sims 3 blog that appears to cover other Sims 3 blogs. First off, let me say I'm happy to have been noticed, and I am in no way complaining. Anyone talking about my site is a good thing. That being said, I do have a suggestion for a fellow blogger...

The Mare's Nest has a notorious way of not actually linking to the site they're talking about. So for example, on the page Master Marf, or Master Barf?1 they say this site is worth keeping an eye on. However, they only have a screenshot of my top banner. If you click on it, it just shows a larger version of the image. There's no link to get here.

Sure, people could do a quick Google search for my site and it's the first result. But let's be honest... Most people are too lazy to search for a site. It is a hassle for the readers and is easily remedied.

Now, I'm not demanding reciprocal links. I'm just saying it would be a good idea, for the convenience of your own readers, to link to the webpages you talk about. You can use the nofollow tag if you're really worried about passing along "link juice"2 to potentially untrustworthy sites.

I probably would have contacted them more privately about this were I able to find a way to do so. They have commenting disabled and I didn't find a contact link. So I wrote this here, in the hopes that it would be found by the intended person. Although I think it's good advice for any blogger out there: link to the sites you talk about!

Yes, I read on The Mare's Nest where they say they are trying to avoid "pandering to the whims of their readership." That's fine, I just hope they are still open to friendly suggestions.

1: The joke of changing Marf to Barf is as old as the name itself, from back when I came up with the name in 1999. Damn, I just realized that was 10 years ago.
2: "Link Juice" is a term used to describe how Google and other search engines use links to rank and index pages. The more "link juice" your site gets, the better it ranks.

See the rest of “The Mare's Nest”»

Sunday, November 8, 2009

«Headless Evil»

The Grim Reaper in my Sims 3 legacy is not without a few glitches. I don't think it was ever planned to be able to have the Grim Reaper in your family like I do.

First off, he has no head when in some work outfits! For example, here's Grim in his work outfit as the Emperor of Evil.
Headless Emperor of Evil

Click image to view full.

Yikes! Though I guess it suits the job.

Another glitch that is quite beneficial is the Grim Reaper does not age (as I mentioned earlier). Right now he is "younger" than his granddaughter. This allows him to accomplish things that a regular sim wouldn't be able to in their lifetime.

The last major glitch I've noticed is rather annoying. He can't call or invite anyone over. Despite the fact that he's good friends with half the neighborhood, the game says he doesn't know anyone well enough to call them.

Oh well. I'll take the bad with the good. The immortal lifespan is well worth it!

See the rest of “Headless Evil”»

Saturday, November 7, 2009

«Caturday: Floating Bucket Conductor»

I like the ones where the cat "sees" the text.

OMG! floting text
I has a buckit / I has a buckket / I has a bucket / Oh Nooo! Bukket has meee!
Conductor Cat demands to see your ticket

See the rest of “Caturday: Floating Bucket Conductor”»

Friday, November 6, 2009

«Hover Over the House Thumbnails»

On my Sims 3 Zenge family page, I added more images of the legacy house. I wanted to show the inside of each level. In order to do that, I have 6 small thumbnail images over the larger screenshot of the house.

If you hover your mouse over one of the small thumbnail images, the larger one will now switch to it (assuming you have javascript enabled). I also made it so it switches if you click them. At first, this seems redundant. After all, how can you click something without first hovering your mouse over it? Answer: the iPhone.

With the iPhone, you don't have a cursor, so you can't "hover" over something. I've ran into this problem on a different site. They had that blacked out spoiler text, where you have to hover your cursor over it to reveal it. On the iPhone, I couldn't reveal the text. I made sure that the little house thumbnails would still work for the iPhone and touch pads, where you can't hover over them.

I've found myself "stroking" the little thumbnail images. I run my mouse back and forth over them and watch the floors of the house go up and down...

See the rest of “Hover Over the House Thumbnails”»

Thursday, November 5, 2009

«It's Those Tides Again»

Similar to when we had the 19 foot tide on December 14th, 2008, yesterday we had an 18 foot tide. Only difference is we had a storm surge on top of it yesterday. 60 mph gusts and such. Click an image to view full.

The water level is a little higher than it was with the 19 foot tide on a calm day.
18 foot tide with a storm surge
Yeah, I think if that car owner were a little more mindful of the tides they wouldn't have left it there. Salt water wreaks havoc on break pads.

Good thing the sea through here stays relatively calm...
Tidewater near the base of a building
That building is new. Before it was built there, I've seen that lot flood with tidewater during a storm. I don't think they put in that much extra fill, either.

See the rest of “It's Those Tides Again”»

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

«Vernell the Thief»

Vernell (from my Sims 3 legacy) is well on her way. She has a beautiful set of traits, and I am taking full advantage of them.

I've always wanted a Grim Reaper statue in my family's backyard graveyard. However, the statue can only be bought on community lots (not household lots). There is a way to get it though... You need a Kleptomaniac sim, and it just so happens that Vernell is one. I sent her to the town graveyard and after stealing some random guy's remains, she stole the Grim Reaper statue in the graveyard. Then you can go back home and into buy mode, where you copy the statue with the eyedropper tool. You can then return the original.

Grim reaper statue on a household lot.

Click image to view full.

Vernell married some hot-headed jackass named Buck. He doesn't really have any redeeming traits. Buck is the type of guy that would come home drunk and beat his wife. There weren't many options for a mate. My neighborhood is dying, they're mostly all old people now. I have the game patch to thank for that. The patch fixed the problem of random children appearing in single parent households. However, I think those random children were needed to maintain the neighborhood's population.

See the rest of “Vernell the Thief”»

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

«Innocence of a Child»

As a grade-school assignment, one little girl drew this when asked to draw a picture of what she wanted to be when she grew up.
When I Grow up... I what to be like mommy!
The teacher sent a note home with the student asking about the odd drawing and a note accompanied the child the following day explaining the drawing's meaning:

Dear Mrs. Severson,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.

I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.

From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Mrs. Anita Sampson

Moral of the story: Don't forget to check your child's homework!

Yes, this story is all over the internet. So what? Now it's here, too. I'm sure it's new to some of you.

See the rest of “Innocence of a Child”»

Monday, November 2, 2009

«Motivational Monday: Broomrape»

Is there no oversight when naming streets? I mean come on, Broomrape Lane?
Broomrape / Damn right it's a dead end.

And no, this is not a photoshop job. Broomrape Ln does in fact exist in Lake Havasu City, Arizona. My best guess is that the road is named after the genus of parasitic flowers.

That's right ladies and gentlemen... Broomrapes are parasitic flowers. They produce no chlorophyll and must steal nutrients from other plants' root systems. The more I Google broomrape, the stranger it gets. Seriously. There's a flower called Naked Broomrape and Hairy Broomrape...

See the rest of “Motivational Monday: Broomrape”»

Sunday, November 1, 2009

«PSA: Time Change»


It's that time of year, aliens have altered the rotation of the Earth again. Please adjust your clocks one hour back to compensate.


See the rest of “PSA: Time Change”»

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