«IT HAS BEEN 2 YEARS»

HI, MASTER MARF HERE!

DOES IT SEEM LIKE TIME IS JUST FLYING BY? DO YOU HAVE A HARD TIME KEEPING TRACK OF THE YEARS? WELL I'VE GOT A REALITY CHECK FOR YOU!

IT HAS BEEN 2 YEARS SINCE BILLY MAYS, THE TELEVISION PITCHMAN LEGEND DIED. THAT'S RIGHT! NOT ONE, BUT TWO WHOLE YEARS! DON'T BELIEVE ME? HERE'S HOW TO CHECK FOR YOURSELF:Wikipedia: Billy Mays.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! YOU CAN ALSO READ MY PREVIOUS POSTS I MADE IN THE DAYS AFTER HIS DEATH: Motivational Monday: Billy Mays AND Billy Mays, Goodnight Sweet Prince.

P.S.: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL¹!

^1: At least it is for June 28th.

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«Okay»

This video gave me lulz to no end... I'd try to be more empathetic, but somewhere inside I'd be a lot like this:

Words, Episode 2: Okay


Is it bad that when someone kills themselves, I want to know the method they used? Maybe I'm just a little sick in the head...

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«Dead End Survival»

Death is inevitable, even if you go down the correct path...

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I found this sign on one of my bicycle exploration adventures around Boise Idaho.

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«"Better Place" is Degrading»

Let it be said here that if I should ever die without outlining it in an official will: I do not want any religious overtone at my funeral, memorial, or burial. I am an atheist. I live as an atheist, and I should die as one.

You are free to say a private prayer for yourself. But for my sake, please don't say a public prayer. It would be degrading to the life that I lived to say I'd be in a "better place" after I die. That's what I was thinking when it was said at the Kralus' memorial. It's strange how trivial things like that can stick in your mind.

I'd also like any and all usable body parts (organs and such) to be donated to people who need them, anything that is left should be donated to science or cremated.

There is one more thing I would like to ask you all as my friends: if I should ever be in a vegetative state and kept alive on life support, please

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«RIP Mr. Kralus»

So I just heard that one of my favorite teachers from high school died. Don Kralus and his wife died in a car wreck outside Terrace, BC in Canada on their way back from a vacation. An elderly driver crossed the center line and hit them head-on. The Canadian police figure they died instantly. The elderly driver and the Kralus' dog survived with minor injuries.

I had a lot of respect for that man. He taught Earth Science and Physics at the high school. Although the most common topic in class was Bigfoot. Mr. Kralus¹ knew a guy in town who was a Bigfoot "expert". One year on the day before spring break he showed a video on Bigfoot and pointed out all the flaws. One example is in the famous Freeman Bigfoot footage the Bigfoot has no butt cleavage, indicating it was a suit. After that he became known as the Bigfoot Guy at high school and showing the video became an annual tradition. All throughout the year the topic of Bigfoot came up, and Mr. Kralus couldn't resist talking about it.

I have some good memories of Mr. Kralus. He was the only adult I knew of that watched South Park. I remember discussing the latest episode with him every week. He was a good friend as well as a teacher. He will be missed.

^1: It's just so strange to call an old teacher by their first name, so I'm still calling him Mr. Kralus.

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«Please Insert Boot Device»

Well, my boot drive failed on my computer. I'll have to get to my other computer to continue my usual blog posts. For now, I'm stuck with only my iPhone (and no speelcheck[sic]¹) to blog with. At least it was only my boot drive, I keep all my data on a seperate physical drive.

I should be at my other computer to make the Motivational Monday post on time. So untill then, I'm going to be bored as hell.

^1: Yes, I meant to misspell spellcheck. However, there may be others I did not mean to. I really am quite bad at spelling. And holy crap, it's a pain to write HTML code on an iPhone!

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«Billy Mays Bill»

Not until after death do great men appear on money.

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It's just $19.95! But wait, if you call within the next 30 minutes, we'll double your offer absolutely free! Just pay separate shipping & handling!

- Billy Mays

Remember it's free, just pay...

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«Only Americans Matter»

Plane Crash in China Kills 3 Americans

Does the wording of that bother anyone else? You see this same thing when children are involved, too. If there were any children on that plane, that's what they would have focused on. Bonus points if it's an American child. They even made sure to point out that one of the injured is also an American.

Who cares if they were American? The point is 3 people died, and 4 are injured right?

Sort if a tangentially related subject: when there's a suicide bombing, why don't they ever include the bomber himself in the death count?

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«Vernell the Thief»

Vernell (from my Sims 3 legacy) is well on her way. She has a beautiful set of traits, and I am taking full advantage of them.

I've always wanted a Grim Reaper statue in my family's backyard graveyard. However, the statue can only be bought on community lots (not household lots). There is a way to get it though... You need a Kleptomaniac sim, and it just so happens that Vernell is one. I sent her to the town graveyard and after stealing some random guy's remains, she stole the Grim Reaper statue in the graveyard. Then you can go back home and into buy mode, where you copy the statue with the eyedropper tool. You can then return the original.

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Vernell married some hot-headed jackass named Buck. He doesn't really have any redeeming traits. Buck is the type of guy that would come home drunk and beat his wife. There weren't many options for a mate. My neighborhood is dying, they're mostly all old people now. I have the game patch to thank for that. The patch fixed the problem of random children appearing in single parent households. However, I think those random children were needed to maintain the neighborhood's population.

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«Goodbye Lillian, Hello Ferby»

Update on what has transpired with my Sims 3 Legacy.

Annabel Lee has grown into quite the teenager.

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I think she's already got a mate picked out for when she becomes a young adult. The guy's name is... Ferby.

The game randomly picks names for any new sims I'm not directly controlling. But come on, Ferby?! Seriously?! I had a bit of a fit when I saw his name. Although his stupid name is why I'm going to pick him to be the father of the next generation. That and he's a Ginger (red-haired).

I had fed Jake to the timestream a while back (this means he moved out of the house). It wasn't that big of an issue, so I don't think I said much about it when I did it. Well, old Jake was over visiting and he up and died of old age.

Lillian, the last survivor of generation 2, lingered on for quite a while. Her life was a contradiction to her traits. She was an artist (a damn good one at that) that hated art. She spent nearly every waking moment of her elderhood painting. All in all, she made over 260,000 from her artwork. That's a good chunk of the total family worth. Finally, at 113 days of age, Lillian died of old age. She can finally rest and never paint another painting again.

Linda and Bonnie both became elders. Somehow even though they are twins, Linda ended up being a day older than Bonnie. They also both achieved their lifetime wishes.

The Grim Reaper, as I have found out, does not age. He'll remain a young adult indefinitely. This means he'll survive long enough to be able to see his great-great-great-granddaughter get old. The Grim Reaper will still be around when the 10th generation is born and the legacy challenge ends.

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«The Unwanted Child»

Once again this is about my Sims 3 Legacy family.

Bonnie's and the Grim Reaper's first child, Veronica, turned out with normal skin color. Not the jet-black skin I wanted. The Grim Reaper, obviously not happy about it and not attuned with the idea of being a father yet, attempted to sacrifice his first born in fire.

However, babies in the Sims have an uncanny immortality. The crib Veronica was in burned, yet she was untouched.

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Next, the Grim Reaper attempted to abandon her by some old dumpsters behind the Outstanding Citizen Warehouse Corp. building.

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Eventually, Child Protection Services got wind of this mistreatment and took Veronica away to live in a different household. Meanwhile, Elvira was born. Also regular skin color. This time Bonnie convinced the Grim Reaper to keep her. Fair skin or not, the legacy must continue.

The Grim Reaper, however, wanted to finish what he started with Veronica. When she turned to a child he tracked Veronica down and invited her over. He already had a deathtrap planned for her; and she fell right into it. Children as not as fireproof as babies. The Grim Reaper finally succeed at sacrificing his firstborn in fire.

Perhaps the Sim Gods are as perverse as the Grim Reaper himself. For right after the sacrifice, triplets were born. Finally the Grim Reaper had his jet-black skinned daughter, Annabel Lee. He's been taking special care of her since her birth. The other two are named Sabrina and Sidha (pronounced "shee" or "SHEE yeh").

Surprisingly, the Grim Reaper does not have the Evil trait, despite his behavior and occupation (Emperor of Evil). He does have the Inappropriate and Insane traits, though.

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«RIP Burton»

Burton (from my Sims 3 legacy) has died. He was a Hit Movie Composer and a loved celebrity. He drew crowds where ever he went. He died of old age at 94 days old.

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Burton had an odd mix of traits. He was a Workaholic, yet Family-Oriented. Somehow he managed to excel at both. So far, other than my founder, he has been my favorite member of the Zenge family.

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«Sims 3: Grim Reaper»

Let me tell you a little story about Bonnie from my Sims 3 Legacy family.

Bonnie marks the 3rd generation of the legacy. She was born with bad luck, a bad luck that seems to radiate to those around her. One day, when she was just a child, she was playing in the central park of Sunset Valley. Perhaps out of curiosity, she wandered across the street near the theater; and watched as an old man died on the sidewalk.

A crowd gathered, and an ominous figure rose from a dark cloud gathering on the ground: the Grim Reaper came to claim the old man. Many in the crowd, as expected, ran in fear at the sight of this shadowy figure. Bonnie however, watched in awe as the Grim Reaper performed a ritual to call the soul of the old man into the afterlife.

When he was finished, the Grim Reaper did something unexpected. He walked over and sat on a bench in front of the nearby bookstore. Bonnie, perhaps a little too naive for her own good, decided to approach this mysterious dark figure. She sat on the bench with him and introduced herself.

The Grim Reaper is misunderstood by most. He was kind to little Bonnie and laughed at her jokes. Perhaps he was nice because she approached him with no preconceptions, no fear or prejudice. Just when Bonnie thought she had found a new friend, the Grim Reaper faded away as quickly as he had appeared.

When Bonnie became a teenager, she got to meet the Grim reaper again: when her grandmother died. The Grim Reaper, having recognized Bonnie, stayed for a bit after taking the grandmother. He consoled Bonnie and told her that her grandmother's time had come, she had lived a long full life. The he faded away as before.

It was not long before Bonnie's grandfather's time came, too. Once again the Grim Reaper came and one again he stayed briefly to talk with Bonnie. The Grim Reaper had become Bonnie's one true friend in life. Someone she could depend on in a time of loss.

Some time went by and Bonnie began to actually miss the Grim Reaper. Then one fateful day Bonnie's bad luck caught up with her when she was cooking. It's quite surprising how flammable hot cooking grease is. Before Bonnie knew what happened she was engulfed in flames. This time, the Grim Reaper came for her.

He was sad to see his friend's burnt body laying before him. The Grim Reaper decided to refuse to do his duty and perform the ritual. He instead returned life to Bonnie's body and took it upon himself to look over her. "For when you die, I will return life to your mortal coil. I cannot bear to lose you," he told her.

From then on, though morbid as it may seem, whenever Bonnie wanted to see her friend all she had to do was attempt to end her life and he'd be there to return it. This went on for some time, even into Bonnie's adulthood. Finally one day after drowning herself in the pool, she asked the Grim Reaper if he'd move in with her. He accepted.

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Now, the Grim Reaper has fathered the next generation of the legacy and is part of the Zenge Family bloodline.

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«Monkey Math Answer»

The answer to the Monkey Math question is 534 bananas. Congrats to Looney for getting the correct answer!

The monkey then starves to death on the way back, and can't bring money back to the plantation owner. The owner is left with no bananas and no money. The owner wishes he would have used a truck instead. Or better yet, sold his bananas at a closer market. How exactly can a monkey carry 1,000 bananas anyway?

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«Pleasant Little Town I Live In»

1 dead, 1 Injured in Ketchikan Shooting

There's been a lot of stabbings and shootings lately in Ketchikan. A lot for a town of this size, at least... In the event the article linked to above is about, it's believed the motive was jealousy over a girl.

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«God vs. Satan»

Hey, look! God is winning! However, Adolf Hitler still has them both beat.

I can't personally vouch for the exact numbers, but it sounds about right.

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«A Moment of Silence»

A moment of silence for Zelda Zenge, my Sims 3 Legacy founder. She has passed away at 92 days old. (lifespan set to 90 days)

...

It's almost a beautiful thing when a Sim dies of old age. Her husband Erick, 2 days older than she was, is still alive. That's him near the bookcase.

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She didn't quite achieve everything I wanted her to. She had written 25 books and was working on a Masterpiece of writing when she died. I only wish she would have survived long enough to finish it. Her life was rather shorter than I expected. She was a Vegetarian and had completed the Marathon Runner challenge; both of those were suppose to extend her life. Yet she died before her husband who had neither of those.

At least she was surrounded by all her family when the Grim Reaper came for her. From left to right: Jake (son), Zelda (the ghost herself), Lillian (daughter), Grim Reaper, Linda (granddaughter), Bonnie (granddaughter), Burton (son-in-law), and Erick (husband).

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Legacy Point total of 16.
Generation: 3
Lifetime Wish: 4
Portraits: 5
Net Worth: 2
Aspiration: 2

Creepy enough for you yet, Monique?

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«Billy Mays, Goodnight Sweet Prince»

It's only fitting that Michael Jackson only gets the equivalent of a footnote in a post about the Marf Machine, yet Billy Mays gets two dedicated posts after he dies. Billy Mays seems to have had more impact on the internet, for some reason.

That's right, if you haven't heard by now, Billy Mays died on June 28th, 2009. He's the iconic, most annoying television pitchman. I first saw him doing a commercial for OxiClean years ago. Every commercial he's did sense he just kept yelling louder and louder.

billy mays gangsta remix


But wait! There's more!

He even recently started his own television show on Discovery Channel: Pitchmen. (Heh, the Wikipedia article is locked down so it can't be changed due to vandalism.)

Ctrl+Alt+Del pumped out a comic about him in the same day that he died:

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Well, damn. With Vince falling out of favor because of his hooker-beating incident, and Billy Mays now dead, there's going to be an odd void left in the field of annoying television pitchmen...

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«Motivational Monday: Billy Mays»

We don't have to worry about the folks in Kreplakistan now... There will be a better post about Billy Mays tomorrow.

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«To The Marf Machine!»

Monique sent me this picture. Apparently it was on a cartoon called "Fairly Odd parents", her kids were watching it.

Also, apparently Michael Jackson died yesterday. Usually, when it makes the news that someone died (like Farrah Fawcett), it's someone I've never heard of or don't recognize. But damn... I didn't expect Michael Jackson to die any time soon.

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