Wednesday, July 14, 2010

«Fuck Texas»

If Texas wants to secede from the union, I say let them! Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

They can declare Christianity as their official national religion, make prayer and creationism mandatory in schools, homosexuality illegal (punishable by death of course), erase Thomas Jefferson from history, and execute death row inmates with a vengeance only surpassed by their god... And all the nation's fundamentalists can move there and be with their own kind1.

Meanwhile, the rest of us can finally get on with our lives unimpeded. Texas would become some sort of militant extremist Christian country, and the rest of the US would become more like Europe. Win-win for all!

Of course, the world would be fucked... If Texas secedes, Chuck Norris would become Supreme Arch-Theocrat of Texas.

1: You know I hold no personal contempt toward you, Looney.


  1. Historically only Democrats have seceded. My theory is that California will secede first over issues like compulsory drug usage in the schools and the unconstitutionality of prohibitions against gay rape. Then I will move up to Alaska!

  2. i don't care what the U.S does, when i retire at 40 i'm leaving it.

  3. Europe! No! I don't want to have no funky accent!

  4. @ Looney: Well, if all goes as planned I won't be in Alaska much longer. Seeing as this is the state Sarah Palin came from, Alaska is pretty much a lost cause, too.

    @ Shaderaven: As long as they don't start drafting people into war against their will I'll stay in the US.

    @ Vid: But we already do. We have an American accent. We sound funny to them!

  5. @Marf, where will you move to?

  6. @ Looney: Well not Texas! Boise, Idaho. I plan to make a post about it later.

  7. Idaho sounds good. They are one of the most fiscally prudent states in the US.

  8. Boise? Hehehe I have lived there for 6 years. come on over to the farm I will introduce you to the goats. I personally like it in Boise, but it takes some getting used to.

    I am visiting K-Town right now and the humidity is killing me.

  9. @ Amilu: Heh. And we've been having dry weather here in Ketchikan. At least dry for our standards. If it's not raining it's dry weather...


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