Sunday, June 20, 2010

«I'm Sorry Bad Shit Happens»

Why is it that people say, "I'm sorry," when they hear something unfortunate has befallen another person? Be it a death in the family, or a diagnosis of a terrible disease. If it's not your fault, you're in no position to apologize for it.

I make it a point to never apologize in a situation like that. It just doesn't make sense. I never know quite what to say, but I do know "I'm sorry," isn't it.


  1. Cody-
    I never could understand why people do that. When I told other 'friends' about my diagnose they always come back with "I'm so sorry." I think to myself. 'What the bloody hell?' I can't figure out why they should feel sorry.... But the saddest thing is once I have told them I rarely hear from them, they are afraid to come near me or talk to me for fear they can catch what I have been diagnose with... It is a lonely place when you alone in a house and no one that use to come over regularly come around anymore. Damn I am the one who has it, you won’t catch it, and I am the one with a life span remaining of 12 years. This I want to scream at them but it does no good in the darkness of alone, so I do my classes and throw myself into studies…. Then my best friend pops online and even though he is not around a lot, he always shows up when I need his shoulder and that makes all the difference in the world that I must live in everyday of my remaining life. Not once has he said, "I'm so sorry." He was honest and said, “I don’t know what to say.” That I can deal with because I know somehow he will always be my post to lean against when I grow tired and when my 12 years comes to an end I know somehow my energy will stand beside him fully healthy.
    Thank you Cody.

  2. According to Oxford Dictionary:
    sorry: adjective (sorrier, sorriest) 1 feeling distress or pity through sympathy with someone else’s misfortune. 2 feeling or expressing regret or penitence. 3 in a poor or pitiful state. 4 unpleasant and regrettable: a sorry business.

    Like most words, "sorry" has more than one definition, so i think this is actually a correct response to someone else's misfortune

  3. When my mother passed away I heard a lot of "I'm sorry", "She was a great woman", and many other cliche things, even from close family members. I was fully aware at the time that these were cliches, but it depended on who is saying it. "I'm sorry" or similar phrases carries more weight from someone you care about or a good friend instead of a random stranger. It also depends on the person; people handle grief differently. Some people don't like the cliche things when they are grief-stricken, some do, some don't care either way. It's human nature to say things like this, and for most people it's better to say something, cliche or no, than nothing at all.

  4. @ Dilia: Your welcome.

    @ Carlos: Well... I still don't like it.

    @ Trevor: I'm one of those of those who does not like the cliche things.

  5. Well, "sorry" just is some form of "sorrow," I think. So "I'm sorry" just means you're sad because of it, whether it's your fault or not.


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