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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

«Santa Claus is Coming To Town»

Creepy Santa ClausThe Christmas jingle "Santa Claus is Coming To Town" is a horrifying song if you pay attention to the lyrics:

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why

The song starts off with a warning, and with good cause...

Santa Claus is coming to town

You mean that big fay guy who breaks into your house, and then justifies his actions by leaving a couple worthless trinkets under your tree?

He's making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town

He's coming to your town, making a list of victims. He's especially looking for the naughty girls...

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!

Holy crap. That doesn't even need commentary to explain how creepy that is... Can we say "stalker"?

O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town

Damn straight you better watch out!

So let me get this straight... This song is about a big fat guy who breaks into your house and bribes your children with toys... Then he stalks your children all year, looking for the "naughty" ones. He then keeps a list of who's "naughty". Worst of all, he knows where you live! Doesn't anyone see a problem with that!?

3 comments:

  1. Lol this post gives me a laugh everytime I read it. Good job for creating a post that can be referred back to and enjoyed almost a year later.

    - Six Legions

    ReplyDelete
  2. @ Six Legions: Thanks, I try. It's amazing how people can look past the creepiness or downright evil of fictional characters. Really, there's not many fictional characters that I would WANT to be real.

    Just the other day I referred to Santa as a "perverted fat bastard" in conversation.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lol whats weird though is that Santa is based alot off of Odin, who thankfully isnt so creepy and evil. How this transition from a kind gentle, yet fair ruler of Asgard to a evil, stalker from the north pole happened I have no clue.

    - Six Legions

    ReplyDelete

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