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Saturday, October 31, 2009

«Caturday: Stealing Devil Candy»

I don't know about where you live, but around here no-one ever has to worry about disposing of their jack-o-lanterns in this town. The teenagers always steal them and roll them down the hills.

This picture courtesy of Looney, text provided by me. Actually, I ended up providing the text on all 3 of these.
Iz not mee steelin ur jak-o-lanturns... Waz Teenagurs... I sware.
I iz a devil bunny RU skared?
Iz no moar kandy left...

See the rest of “Caturday: Stealing Devil Candy”»

Friday, October 30, 2009

«PSA: Candy From Strangers»

[ ALERT! THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. ]

It has been stated that children should NEVER take candy from strangers. It makes no difference if the child is also a stranger to the persons handing out the candy. As such, it follows to reason that if the child is wearing a costume/disguise, they should still NEVER accept candy from strangers.

[ THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT, BROUGHT TO YOU BY: Master Marf. ]

See the rest of “PSA: Candy From Strangers”»

Thursday, October 29, 2009

«Aflac is Watching You»

Always watching...

So there's some pretty odd phobias out there. Like Anatidaephobia, the fear that a duck is constantly watching you somehow.
Anatidaephobia - The Fear That You are Being Watched by a Duck / Aflac We've got you under our wing.
After seeing that, I can see how some people might think there really IS a duck watching them... You got to love poor random ad placement.

See the rest of “Aflac is Watching You”»

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

«Inspiring Comic»

From Cyanide and Happiness.
Inspiring Comic Day

Click image to view full.

Is it wrong that I envisioned him jumping off a building?

See the rest of “Inspiring Comic”»

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

«Ghosts of Family Members»

So, in my Sims 3 legacy the ghosts of dead family members are starting to get in the way. Every night they all come out. I liked it better in the Sims 2 where only some of the ghosts would come out in a given night.

Vernell had a birthday and 8 ghosts swarmed into the kitchen. They all wanted cake. By the time the ghosts took their slices, there was no cake left for my regular sims.
Sims 3, 8 ghosts.

Click image to view full.

The other problem I'm having with the ghosts is they sleep in my beds. There's no way to wake them up, either. So the sims I'm controlling can't even sleep some nights. The ghosts also have a way of breaking things.

The color of the ghosts shows how they died. White is old age, purple is starvation, orange is burned alive, and blue is drowned. There is also yellow which is electrocution, but I don't have any of those yet. Yes, that blue one is Jerad.

See the rest of “Ghosts of Family Members”»

Monday, October 26, 2009

«Motivational Monday: Talent»

I suppose there are a couple jobs out there where this would be a useful talent...

Talent / Some things you can't put on a resumé

See the rest of “Motivational Monday: Talent”»

Sunday, October 25, 2009

«Screw Ferby»

So it turns out you should never trust a sim named Ferby. He cheated on Annabel Lee and had a child with someone else. If she were to have married him, I would have been forced to take the bastard child, too. So Ferby will not be in the family tree.

Instead, Annabel Lee hooked up with a firefighter named Jerad. Here I'm trying to size down the family and they go and have twins (Carla and Vernell). She actually wasn't even married to him at the time of their twins' birth. Both turned out jet-black like their mother.

Sabrina moved out and she took one of the twins (Carla) with her. So I'm left with just Vernell and a slightly smaller family I have to take care of. So I'm happy.

As far as Jerad is concerned, he has served his purpose. He's useless to me now. I've already achieved what his lifetime wish is with a different sim, so I can't get that point from him. Looks like even though Jerad has the Lucky trait, great misfortune will come his way *wink* *wink*.

Oh and Vernell's two traits, Evil and Genius: randomly selected as per the Legacy Challenge rules. I swear...

See the rest of “Screw Ferby”»

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Friday, October 23, 2009

«Elvira Fed to the Timestream»

Elvira has been fed to the timestream (in my Sims 3 legacy). That means she's left the household (and thus my control). She accomplished everything I needed her to quite quickly. So I let her get married to a sim named Loren Meador and move in with him.

I was getting too many sims in the family anyway. There is a maximum of 8 at any given time. I needed to make room for Ferby and the next generation (when she's born). Besides, I'm getting tired of controlling such a large family.

I've read that some people had a tough time achieving the Golden Tongue, Golden Fingers lifetime wish within the 90 day lifespan. Elvira completed it while still a young adult. The key is to start with playing the guitar for tips in the park. You'll end up being friends with nearly everyone in town. Then you don't have to worry about the friend requirements to master the charisma skill. Just read the charisma skill books.

See the rest of “Elvira Fed to the Timestream”»

Thursday, October 22, 2009

«Sexism, Sandwich, and Yahoo»

This woman was tired of being told to "go make me a sandwich" by a sexist guy. She wanted to be witty. Error number 1: asking the internet for advice.

When a guy says GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH, what's a good comeback? He's sexist, and I'm trying to be witty. Any good comebacks? / Well, you better comeback with a godamm sandwich.

Click image to view full.

She got a witty answer alright. Do you really expect anything different from the internet?

See the rest of “Sexism, Sandwich, and Yahoo”»

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

«Goodbye Lillian, Hello Ferby»

Update on what has transpired with my Sims 3 Legacy.

Annabel Lee has grown into quite the teenager.
Annabel Lee Zenge in her teenage years

Click image to view full.

I think she's already got a mate picked out for when she becomes a young adult. The guy's name is... Ferby.

The game randomly picks names for any new sims I'm not directly controlling. But come on, Ferby?! Seriously?! I had a bit of a fit when I saw his name. Although his stupid name is why I'm going to pick him to be the father of the next generation. That and he's a Ginger (red-haired).

I had fed Jake to the timestream a while back (this means he moved out of the house). It wasn't that big of an issue, so I don't think I said much about it when I did it. Well, old Jake was over visiting and he up and died of old age.

Lillian, the last survivor of generation 2, lingered on for quite a while. Her life was a contradiction to her traits. She was an artist (a damn good one at that) that hated art. She spent nearly every waking moment of her elderhood painting. All in all, she made over 260,000 from her artwork. That's a good chunk of the total family worth. Finally, at 113 days of age, Lillian died of old age. She can finally rest and never paint another painting again.

Linda and Bonnie both became elders. Somehow even though they are twins, Linda ended up being a day older than Bonnie. They also both achieved their lifetime wishes.

The Grim Reaper, as I have found out, does not age. He'll remain a young adult indefinitely. This means he'll survive long enough to be able to see his great-great-great-granddaughter get old. The Grim Reaper will still be around when the 10th generation is born and the legacy challenge ends.

See the rest of “Goodbye Lillian, Hello Ferby”»

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

«The Unwanted Child»

Once again this is about my Sims 3 Legacy family.

Bonnie's and the Grim Reaper's first child, Veronica, turned out with normal skin color. Not the jet-black skin I wanted. The Grim Reaper, obviously not happy about it and not attuned with the idea of being a father yet, attempted to sacrifice his first born in fire.

However, babies in the Sims have an uncanny immortality. The crib Veronica was in burned, yet she was untouched.
Attempt at burning baby Veronica

Click image to view full.

Next, the Grim Reaper attempted to abandon her by some old dumpsters behind the Outstanding Citizen Warehouse Corp. building.
Grim Reaper abandoning baby at dumpsters.
Click image to view full.

Eventually, Child Protection Services got wind of this mistreatment and took Veronica away to live in a different household. Meanwhile, Elvira was born. Also regular skin color. This time Bonnie convinced the Grim Reaper to keep her. Fair skin or not, the legacy must continue.

The Grim Reaper, however, wanted to finish what he started with Veronica. When she turned to a child he tracked Veronica down and invited her over. He already had a deathtrap planned for her; and she fell right into it. Children as not as fireproof as babies. The Grim Reaper finally succeed at sacrificing his firstborn in fire.

Perhaps the Sim Gods are as perverse as the Grim Reaper himself. For right after the sacrifice, triplets were born. Finally the Grim Reaper had his jet-black skinned daughter, Annabel Lee. He's been taking special care of her since her birth. The other two are named Sabrina and Sidha (pronounced "shee" or "SHEE yeh").

Surprisingly, the Grim Reaper does not have the Evil trait, despite his behavior and occupation (Emperor of Evil). He does have the Inappropriate and Insane traits, though.

See the rest of “The Unwanted Child”»

Monday, October 19, 2009

«Motivational Monday: Redundancy»

I'm pretty sure this was an anti-gay protest. But even I'd have to agree with this sign. Gay people are... Well, gay.

Redundancy / Because SOMEONE has the state the obvious.

See the rest of “Motivational Monday: Redundancy”»

Sunday, October 18, 2009

«Grim Baby»

Out of death comes life. Bonnie and Grim Reaper had triplets. One of them is a jet-black Grim baby! I had all but given up hope of getting one of those! I named her Annabel Lee Zenge. She is SO going to be the next heir.

The Grim Reaper holding his little daughter, Annabel Lee.
Grim Reaper's baby

Click image to view full.

I went through a lot of trouble to get a Grim baby. It's the whole reason Bonnie went through the trouble of courting the Grim Reaper. I had read it was possible to get a jet-black sim if their father was the Grim Reaper. So I wanted to get one.

Here's Bonnie holding her little black bundle of joy.
Grim Reaper's baby
Click image to view full.

More on their other 4 (normal colored) children in a later post.

See the rest of “Grim Baby”»

Saturday, October 17, 2009

«Caturday: Sims Curious Witness»

I think there are lolcat pictures for any subject imaginable.

I haz teh Simz
The Sims Cat iz curryus.
as god as my witness i no eated da cookie

See the rest of “Caturday: Sims Curious Witness”»

Friday, October 16, 2009

«RIP Burton»

Burton (from my Sims 3 legacy) has died. He was a Hit Movie Composer and a loved celebrity. He drew crowds where ever he went. He died of old age at 94 days old.

Burton Zenge outside the theater playing his guitar.

Click image to view full.

Burton had an odd mix of traits. He was a Workaholic, yet Family-Oriented. Somehow he managed to excel at both. So far, other than my founder, he has been my favorite member of the Zenge family.

See the rest of “RIP Burton”»

Thursday, October 15, 2009

«There Goes My Cop-out»

Let me first say that I disagree with and condemn the Selective Service System. I only registered when I turned 18 because I was extorted by the government; by law I had to. I thought there was a law that says anything signed while under coercion or intimidation is not lawful. I guess the government is exempt when they're the ones doing the coercion.

Anyway, I was forced to register for the Selective Service. However, if it came down to it and they reinstated the draft, I'll do whatever I can to get out of it.

I can't really claim it's against my religion, since I don't have one. Even the draft wouldn't make me fake believing in a religion. However, I would consider claiming I'm homosexual (or at least bisexual) due to the military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy.

Thanks to Obama's recent vow, that may no longer be an option. Obama promised to end the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy.

Ok, that's a good thing. It's another step towards equal rights and diminishing the blatant discrimination against sexual orientations other than heterosexuality. Good for Obama (if he follows through).

I'll just have to find some other way to dodge the draft if it is reinstated. Maybe I could at least get a non-combat listing due to my bad left eye and thus bad depth-perception. Problem is, I hate the military mentality. I'm afraid I wouldn't blindly follow orders without understanding them or seeing a point for it. Maybe I'll just skip the country or go to a federal prison instead...

Let's just hope it doesn't come to that.

See the rest of “There Goes My Cop-out”»

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

«Sims 3: Grim Reaper»

Bonnie ZengeLet me tell you a little story about Bonnie from my Sims 3 Legacy family.

Bonnie marks the 3rd generation of the legacy. She was born with bad luck, a bad luck that seems to radiate to those around her. One day, when she was just a child, she was playing in the central park of Sunset Valley. Perhaps out of curiosity, she wandered across the street near the theater; and watched as an old man died on the sidewalk.

A crowd gathered, and an ominous figure rose from a dark cloud gathering on the ground: the Grim Reaper came to claim the old man. Many in the crowd, as expected, ran in fear at the sight of this shadowy figure. Bonnie however, watched in awe as the Grim Reaper performed a ritual to call the soul of the old man into the afterlife.

When he was finished, the Grim Reaper did something unexpected. He walked over and sat on a bench in front of the nearby bookstore. Bonnie, perhaps a little too naive for her own good, decided to approach this mysterious dark figure. She sat on the bench with him and introduced herself.

The Grim Reaper is misunderstood by most. He was kind to little Bonnie and laughed at her jokes. Perhaps he was nice because she approached him with no preconceptions, no fear or prejudice. Just when Bonnie thought she had found a new friend, the Grim Reaper faded away as quickly as he had appeared.

When Bonnie became a teenager, she got to meet the Grim reaper again: when her grandmother died. The Grim Reaper, having recognized Bonnie, stayed for a bit after taking the grandmother. He consoled Bonnie and told her that her grandmother's time had come, she had lived a long full life. The he faded away as before.

It was not long before Bonnie's grandfather's time came, too. Once again the Grim Reaper came and one again he stayed briefly to talk with Bonnie. The Grim Reaper had become Bonnie's one true friend in life. Someone she could depend on in a time of loss.

Some time went by and Bonnie began to actually miss the Grim Reaper. Then one fateful day Bonnie's bad luck caught up with her when she was cooking. It's quite surprising how flammable hot cooking grease is. Before Bonnie knew what happened she was engulfed in flames. This time, the Grim Reaper came for her.

He was sad to see his friend's burnt body laying before him. The Grim Reaper decided to refuse to do his duty and perform the ritual. He instead returned life to Bonnie's body and took it upon himself to look over her. "For when you die, I will return life to your mortal coil. I cannot bear to lose you," he told her.

From then on, though morbid as it may seem, whenever Bonnie wanted to see her friend all she had to do was attempt to end her life and he'd be there to return it. This went on for some time, even into Bonnie's adulthood. Finally one day after drowning herself in the pool, she asked the Grim Reaper if he'd move in with her. He accepted.

Grim Reaper and Bonnie

Click image to view full.

Now, the Grim Reaper has fathered the next generation of the legacy and is part of the Zenge Family bloodline.

See the rest of “Sims 3: Grim Reaper”»

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

«Electrified Tree»

Tree meets high voltage lines. This was in Bellingham, Washington on October 3rd, 2009.

ORIGINAL! Bellingham Carolina & Grant St Tree Fire Explosion 10.03.09

See the rest of “Electrified Tree”»

Monday, October 12, 2009

«Motivational Monday: Obama, Baby»

I felt like changing it to "DO NOTHING / Receive award for it." I guess Obama has did some stuff, but that's his job, isn't it?

Barack Obama / Awwwww Yeah Baby.

See the rest of “Motivational Monday: Obama, Baby”»

Sunday, October 11, 2009

«Microwave an Airbag»

This is what happens when a group of popular YouTubers keep getting pushed to outdo themselves. They try unsafe things...

Is It A Good Idea To Microwave AN AIRBAG!?!


That was a piece of the glass revolving plate from the microwave that shot out and broke their door less than half a second after Jory was clear. Now you know that it's a very bad idea to microwave an airbag. As if there were any question before...

See the rest of “Microwave an Airbag”»

Saturday, October 10, 2009

«Caturday: Moon Haz Blarg»

Surprise! The moon is still there, and the whole event was rather dull. People just don't understand the scale of things... They've seen way too many Hollywood movies.

Bomb the moon!?
Skill I haz it
blarg im dying

See the rest of “Caturday: Moon Haz Blarg”»

Friday, October 9, 2009

«Obama's Nobel Peace Prize»

Barack Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize
He ended the war in...um...Iraq. No, wait. No no, he ended the one in Afghanistan...er, I mean the War on Drugs. No, not that one either... Well, he made peace. Peace by...um...hmm...well, he did something. I think. Um... fixed the economy? No. Not quite. ...At all.

Seriously, what the hell did Obama do to warrant even being nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize? Let alone win it? The best I can figure, it's because he's not George Bush. The whole world was so tired of Bush that they're happy to have anyone else.

Don't get me wrong, I like Obama as President. I voted for him. I just don't think he's that good.

See the rest of “Obama's Nobel Peace Prize”»

«Declare War on the Moon»

So, NASA is going to (or has, depending on when you read this) "bomb" the moon. Let's hope it doesn't turn out like this:
The moon fractured in the 2002 Time Machine movie
That of course is an image from the 2002 movie Time Machine.

In reality, we could bomb the moon with all the nukes in the world and the most it would do is change the cratering a bit. And NASA isn't even nuking the moon, or even bombing it in the general sense. They're just going to purposefully crash two parts of the LCROSS spacecraft into the moon's South pole. They hope to kick up some of the surface dust and maybe some water ice crystals with it.

That's what they're looking for: water ice. If there is water on the moon then it can be used as a source of fuel (in the form of oxygen and hydrogen) for future deep space exploration missions. It takes so much energy to bring up fuel from Earth. Whereas if fuel can be made on the moon, it doesn't take too much energy to escape from the moon's gravity.

I've read some crazy things people posted who don't have a clue about it. There's people worried about mass earthquakes and tsunamis here on Earth as a result. Or changing the tidal patterns of the oceans.

Or literally split the moon. This one's my favorite. Because the prophet Muhammad split the moon 1,400 years ago, the moon is already cleft in two. So this impact is going to separate the two halves... Yeah, right1.

From the Qur'an:

The Last Hour has drawn near, and the moon has split. But whenever they see a sign, they turn away and say, 'This is evident magic'.

- al-Qamar, 54.1-2

There's actually people protesting to "save the moon." Just... Wow.

1: It's not just Christianity I find ridiculous. I think all the religions are. I just pick on Christianity the most because I'm exposed to it the most.

See the rest of “Declare War on the Moon”»

Thursday, October 8, 2009

«Seattle Grafeti»

I took this picture on May 19th, 2009 in Seattle, Washington. I would have taken more of this grafeti, but my dad and I were being harassed by a panhandler. So we kept moving.

Why can't the grafeti in my town be this cool? All we get is sloppily spray painted penises...
Grafeti in Seattle.

Click image to view full.

See the rest of “Seattle Grafeti”»

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

«Geese Migrating South»

They know it's time to get the hell out of here. Fall is upon us.

Flock of geese

Click image to view full.

See the rest of “Geese Migrating South”»

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

«Monkey Math Answer»

The answer to the Monkey Math question is 534 bananas. Congrats to Looney for getting the correct answer!

The monkey then starves to death on the way back, and can't bring money back to the plantation owner. The owner is left with no bananas and no money. The owner wishes he would have used a truck instead. Or better yet, sold his bananas at a closer market. How exactly can a monkey carry 1,000 bananas anyway?

See the rest of “Monkey Math Answer”»

Monday, October 5, 2009

Sunday, October 4, 2009

«Monkey Math»

Hypothetical situation:

There is a banana plantation, where the owner has 3,000 bananas. He decides to sell his bananas at a market 1,000 miles away, and use his trusty monkey to carry them there. The monkey can carry no more than 1,000 bananas at a time. Each mile the monkey travels, he consumes one of the bananas he's carrying. The monkey will die if he ends up stranded with no bananas. What is the maximum number of bananas he can take to the market?

Answer on Tuesday!

See the rest of “Monkey Math”»

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Friday, October 2, 2009

«Illusion of Taryn Simon»

Take a look at this picture:
Illusion of Taryn Simon

Click image to view full.

Now look at it again, tilting your head upside down so you can see the lady upright.

It becomes immediately apparent what's different between them. Even after seeing that, when you look at it normally again the images still look very similar. Now you might notice a little difference in the position of the pupils in the eyes. Optical illusions are like that. Even after you've been shown the illusion, it's like you haven't learned anything.

The image is a self-portrait of Taryn Simon. She used it as an example in her TED conference speech.

See the rest of “Illusion of Taryn Simon”»

Thursday, October 1, 2009

«4chan Turns 6»

The website 4chan is now 6 years old. No, I'm not going to link to it due to the content of the site. Just Google it if you really don't know it. Then dive right into the "/b/ - Random" imageboard; it's under the "Misc. (18+)" category.

All of the memes of the internet were spawned or propagated from 4chan. We owe this site for every time we've ever laughed at a Lolcat. Or chances are, most else that is funny on the internet. We also owe it for the most vile images on the internet.

It is a place of anonymity and near-absolute freedom of speech. Even if you've never been there, it has had a profound impact on what you see on the internet.

Photoshopped Moot.

Click image to view full.

See the rest of “4chan Turns 6”»

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