Thursday, September 11, 2008

«Ctr+Alt+Del Parody "The End"»

Here's a parody I found of the webcomic Ctr+Alt+Del. It seems lately, the actual comic has been heading in this direction anyway... The parody is a 9-part series entitled "The End". Click a comic to see the (slightly) larger original.

Lilah: Ethan, can we talk? It's really important to me. / Ethan: Can it wait babe? I'm just about to kill General Raam for the 4th time... / Lilah: No, it can't fucking wait, so I' just saying it. I'm leaving you. / Lilah: You smug prick. We just lost our child, and you're sitting on the fucking couch playing fucking video games! You've ruined my life, Ethan. You're almost 30, you have a dead-end job, no prospects, no drive, and you're an alcoholic! I can't believe how fucking stupid I am to have stayed with you for so long. / Lilah: Good-bye Ethan. I just hope you'll never do to anyone else what you did to me.
Ethan: Please God no.
Ethan: Lilah? / Ethan: *sniff* You're not Lilah. / Officer: Is this the residence of Lucas Davidowicz? / Ethan: Yeah, but I haven't seen him for two days. / Officer: Sir, I hate to tell you like this, but you need to know. / Officer: Sir, Mr. Davidowicz is dead. / Ethan: Lucas is... Dead? / Officer: A traffic accident. An unidentified female was driving. She must have lost control of the car. They both died on impact. At the very least, they didn't suffer. I'm very sorry, sir. / Officer: Is there anything I can do to help, sir? / Ethan: No, I... No, officer. Thank you. / Officer: Good night, sir. Again, I'm sorry.
Ethan: This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. / Phone: Hi, you've reached Lilah and Ethan's phone! Leave a message. *beep* / Phone: Ethan, this is Barry at Game Haven. You've missed three days, so I'm afraid I have to fire you. Aside from that, you were rude and abusive to the customers. Please don't come back. / Ethan: I've had enough.
Ethan: Zeke, I'm leaving. I need you to look after Lilah. / Zeke: Sorry Ethan, but I can't. / Zeke: You never got it, Ethan. I don't exist. You lacked the skills to make me, so you invented me for your strange delusions. I exist only in your mind, filling your need to have a game as a friend. / Zeke: But since you no longer have that need, I have to go away. / Ethan: Heh, that's... kinda funny I guess. Seriously though- / Zeke: Good-bye, Ethan.
Ethan: Zeke... Lucas... Lilah... It's all my fault... I never knew how much I hurt you... ..But I promise here and now... ...That I will never hurt anyone ever again.
Note: To whomever finds this, I made this choice with much thought. It was only after I lost everything when I realized how much of a nothing I truly was. / Note: I hurt a lot of people. My friends, their friends... Even people I didn't know. And I never thought about it. I was too trapped in my own little space to think of other people's feelings. / I'd say it's because I was never criticized. But that would be wrong. I simply never listened to the criticism, and always fell back into the same self-destructive routine. In the end, my friends' pain was my doing. And since I cannot stop that pain, the least I can do is make sure I never cause anyone that pain again. / All my life the only thing I thought that I cared about was video games. The people around me didn't matter as much. But now, after they are all gone and I am alone, I realize that it wasn't the games. It was the people that made life worth living. This is my final gift to you. Sincerely, Ethan Ryan Macmanus
Scott: Heh... Eh heh-heh... / Scott: HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa
Scott: Just as planned. / The End


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